God Gets a Call

Seen over in Making Light:

God (on phone with Pat Robertson): Wha-? Dude, stop phoning me....Yes, yes I know it's you, I have Prayer ID...Yes, I did get your last 53 messages, I just ignored them...No, I'm not going to send a hurricane to destroy Pennsylvania...What? What the hell have you been saying about me?...Hell no! I know Jesus, okay, I KNOW my own Son, MeDammit! I don't care what you think you heard...wait, let me get him. JE-SUS! Did you tell Pat Robertson you were sick with the abortions and gays in New Orleans?... No, Pat, he says you're taking him out of context...Yes, Pat, I love you, but that doesn't mean I don't love everybody else...yes, even Bush, although he should get his act together...Intelligent design? Intelligent design? Let me get this through to you, I'm Intelligent, and I Designed - evolution! Dude...you're not even listening...where did you even get this number? Okay, stop calling me, Pat...I mean it, stop calling.

I'm screening my Prayers now...yes I am, I'm screening them - you even hint of "smiting" or "Godly wrath" in any of them, I'll ignore it...that's right...play nice Pat...yes, I'll say hi to your mom for you...okay...okay...bye now.

Weirdo.